Monday, June 14, 2010

Illuminutty

I've been busy and while I have been following all the amazingly funny antics of Tila, I haven't had the time to update about it. RotSpot has done a great job, as always, following the madness. Amazing what those girls can do while imprisoned on federal offenses handed down by Tila herself. The complete stupidity that is Tila has me having to update this one too.

Tila has always been interested in talking about the New World Order and Illuminati. I'd be lying if I didn't say it was a subject that didn't interest me either. I won't go as far as Tila and lie about my interests in it, saying that I also have immersed myself in the studies of Quantum Physics, Quantum Mechanics, or even Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap. I can tell you that Tila is throwing out the most basic of theories related to anything involving Illuminati though. It's sad to see a subject that is actually interesting dumbed down to such a level that it makes Dan Brown novels read like they were written by Steven Hawking.

Tila's recent Illuminati obsession started when she realized that people like Lady Gaga and Beyonce were doing much better than her. The only reason that she could come up with was their Illuminati connections. This isn't something Tila discovered, as she is trying to make her "army" think. Tila lurks sites like ONTD, where posts about Gaga's Illuminati connections are posted for everyone to laugh. ONTD links to the most absurd site of them all, Vigilant Citizen.

Let's go back to when Tila brought up the Illuminati on what was supposed to be her blog about celebrities, which is actually a blog all about Tila.



Ohhhh, look at that. Tila is using Illuminati symbolism and talking in code. She must be so deep and knowledgeable!

What did Tila have to write about her precious little army in the blog she posted?

If anything, I have all the right people you need, that you want, that you work oh so hard to get to. Yes. I have them at the tip of my fingers, all by my little self.

They won’t listen to you, however, they WILL listen to me. Now, if anything, you may want to re-think what you are doing and do this deal with me as I do have my MASSIVE TILA ARMY!

I have always been on the other side of “YOU AND YOUR TRAINED ONES” however, even with all that power you have and all of your trained ones, I still, all on my own, have my OWN POWER, and MY OWN TRAINED ONES.

Meet me halfway. I am here. How to find me? Tips@MissTilaOMG.com – NDA and all that… No worries. DONE.


What is going on here? Is Tila hitting the meth pipe? Did she snort a line of Ambien again? Is she just trying too hard to sound deep, like a 15 year old writing poems about cutting their arm? All of the above? Possibly.

First let's get all the laughs out about Tila saying she has a massive army. Even Tila's own "army" know that their numbers can be counted using all the digits on one human body.

Now, to Tila's army, do you see what it is she is saying about you? She is saying that she has you trained, that you are puppets and have no free will. If you are too young to understand, she is saying you are stupid and she can make you do whatever her cold heart desires. She is offering you up. She is willing to hand you over to "the others" that she speaks so negatively about, the ones she calls devil worshipers. And since you follow her so freely without asking any questions, as she says you do, it will be very easy for the handover to happen. No questions asked, Tila Army, your soul is being signed over to the devil without your own consent. You already gave that to Tila and have no control over it.

Hey, it's your own commander saying this. Not me. In fact, she goes as far as saying you are all part of a cult.



Despite what she may say the point of the cult is, she still considers you member of a cult. You know, like the Manson Family, Waco, People's Temple, Heaven's Gate?

The entire blog post was her trying her hardest to get Lady Gaga's people to contact her. She tried to dress like Gaga, use Gaga's mannerisms, and speak like a grown up (which didn't work). Gaga's people never contacted her though, because Gaga's people probably have no idea who she is.

And when anyone doesn't pay attention to Tila, what happens? The same thing that happened with Shawne Merriman and The Game. Tila makes things up and tries to attack their careers. She had her hands full trying to attack Gaga, though. Gaga has a large fan base and they embrace the eccentricity that is the star. Gaga worked to get where she is and Tila wants to ride her coattails. That failed miserably when Mr. Bradshaw's styling failure only emphasized Tila's implant scars and wonky nipples and no one showed up to see her perform the songs she stole from Depeche Mode and Yoko Ono.

Dragging herself through the dirt and begging for Lady Gaga's attention didn't work, so what does Tila do? She turns into the thing she knows most, a hater. Tila posts about Lady Gaga being a devil worshiper.

Where have I heard that before? That's right. There is a blog called Vigilant Citizen that is completely devoted to documenting symbolism and occultism in pop culture. It's a damn funny read and they use proper grammar.

Not getting the attention she had hoped for with the first post, Tila went ahead and posted another rant today. The consensus is that Tila's blog won't be around much longer and she is looking for someone to blame it on. She has done this in the past and it looks to be happening again. This time, "the others" will be at fault. The failure is obvious. While the coding is still there in the source, the Google ads are no longer loading on Tila's page. This happens when you go against their terms of service. Now Tila is no longer getting ad revenue for her site and is begging for advertisers to fund it.

With no one coming to her site and the numbers of viewers dropping, stunts like faking a suicide attempt and talking about how the Illuminati are out to get her are her only options. Neither of these are pulling in the numbers she had hoped for, so the attention whoring is only going to get more and more obvious.

Again, let it be pointed out to the few fans that Tila still has ... This Illuminati talk is not Tila's. It comes from another website and is clearer and more interesting there. It isn't new. People said this about Judas Priest and Black Sabbath. Before that were the Rolling Stones and the Beatles. Long before that there was Robert Johnson, the Mississippi bluesman who was said to have sold his soul to the devil in order to become a great musician.

Our founding fathers were Freemasons and before them there was the Knight's Templar.

If you've ever spent a boring Sunday watching the History Channel, you've heard all of this before. Just because Tila is loaded on drugs and needs attention doesn't mean anyone or anything is out to get her.

The only people Tila needs to worry about are the ones she crossed and owes money to, right Carlton Jordan?

Tila "army" ... Educate yourselves. Stop buying into her hate and calls about how everyone who says anything about her is a "jealous hater". Get a job. Read a book. Find someone to look up to who is worth looking up to, not someone who sings songs about having sex without protection or someone who fakes a suicide attempt to get viewers to their blog.

Tila is always talking about how her army are so great and are out to help people, yet the only time they come together to do anything is to attack innocent people on Twitter for being overweight or for not liking something stupid Tila says. How is that helping people? Tila army, if you really want to help people, volunteer for an organization that helps homeless youth, or one that hands out food, or even help clean up your local park. You can make a difference, but not when you have someone who fakes pregnancies, suicides, miscarriages, and jokes about rape as your leader.

7 comments:

punkass said...

Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap!!!! LMFAO she'll do anything for attention....Nice Post

Anonymous said...

Brilliant and bang on. I hope at least one of that oddball army reads this.

Unfortunately most of them seem to be foreign teens, with a bad grasp of english- which might by why they're so easily deluded. Although... honestly they are so deluded it's seriously unfathomable. All I can do is shake my head.

I bet I'm not the only one who's missed your point of view. I'm praying to all things illuminutty your sabbatical is over...

tui

Tila's said...

Great post as always! I hope the Tila army wakes up soon!

Anonymous said...

I really love your post. I'm counting the days when Tila's blog will forever be shut down and she is never to be heard from again. Based on her IQ level, I don't think she realizes that there are actually people who are far more intelligent than she is and after being called lie after lie, its only a matter of time when people really get tired of it. Just do what you do best trick and do porn already, at least there you act out your insane characters/personalities and it will be perfectly ok and it requires no clothing so I'm sure you're already acclamated to that type of situation.

Audrey, J.D., CPA said...

Something else that caught my attention was in the last part of the blog-- Isn't the "army" contradicting themselves? Remember the girl that got the same star tattoo that Tila has on the wrist? She is obviously very, very, very, VERY much overweight and she's the club leader. So do they all gather on Twitter and pretend they are all not obese and bash on fat people?

Sandy said...

Excellent post. I've missed your writing. I loved the bit about learning all this shit on the History channel. Paraphrased by me, of course.

SmokerHippie said...

what a wonderful post. i totally agree that she is running with this Illuminati shit so when her blog disappears, she will use them as the excuse.