Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Baby, I'm A Free Bitch

I still haven't been subpoenaed by Tila, but I have taken part in a person boycott against her site. I do have a definition I want to share with everyone reading, who have seen Tila go on and on about how many hits her site is receiving...

Technical definition of a pageview:

A pageview is each time a visitor views a page on your website, regardless of how many hits are generated. Pages are comprised of files. Every image in a page is a separate file. When a visitor looks at a page (a pageview), they may see numerous images, graphics, pictures etc. and generate multiple hits.

For example, if you have a page with 10 pictures, then a request to a server to view that page generates 11 hits (10 for the pictures, and one for the html file). A page view can contain hundreds of hits.

If you feel the need to view her page, AdBlock is your friend. You have the ability to disable all images from her site, reducing her numbers.

We've shown her ranking and how it does against Perez, and speaking of Perez... His website has received a buyout offer for $20,000,000. If Tila is reading (we know she is) and unable to calculate all those zeros, that is twenty million dollars.

Let us take an updated look and see how Tila is doing against Perez and TMZ again...

That's odd. Tila's numbers have dropped in the past few days while TMZ and Perez's sites have picked up.

Now, let's take a moment from some Tilulz. Tila was recently interviewed for TSS. You can view that here, but please make sure you aren't drinking anything as you read.

I got a lot of laughs out of this exchange...

TSS: Yeah…everybody thinks they can rap nowadays.
Miss Tila: Yeah, exactly.
TSS: It’s terrible, really.

Reading the entire interview, it doesn't seem like it could be real. She can't be that dumb, can she? She didn't even link to the interview and she links to everything about herself. It's real and it is understandable why she would never want anyone to see it.

That's not it! There are even more Tilulz for today. While waiting to put up "exclusive" pictures of Megan Fox that had been seen on every other site days before, Tila took to her blog to copy and paste another story from a reputable source. The post is titled, "Would you buy Drew Barrymore's autobiography coloring book?" The source she cited for this story that had yet to be covered by any legit gossip blog? The Onion. Tila seriously posted a news story from The Onion as though it was real. It wasn't the only story she wasn't aware was satire; this picture of Steve Nash was posted, and along with the Drew story, was taken down hours later after everyone enjoyed a good laugh.

Back to the lolsuit! Since I am not locked up yet on felony lol charges yet, I want to post a link to an article sent to me over Twitter by @mishalay. Read here about a blogger who spoke out against a company which must not have mega mogul attorneys and private investigators. If only USA Technologies had gone through "Google people" like Tila, they could have the blogger's name, address, and GENDER!

Finally, word on the street is that Leo Madrid is now a free bitch too. If that is true, congratulations to you, Leo! You deserve an award ... and one of those Hazmat showers.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


I still haven't received the cease and desist that Tila said she would be sending me. Nothing to worry about, Tila announced today that she will be suing bloggers! (Suing "3 slanderous" as she put it.) One can only assume she is talking about this blog, Spiked Tequila (check that link for Tila's actual tweets about suing us), and The Rot Spot. Maybe we're wrong. Maybe she isn't suing us and is instead suing Perez, TMZ, and DListed for her inability to "dethrone" them.

Just in case it is the three of us that she is going after, I had my mega mogul attorneys draft up a class action lawsuit against Tila. You can all be part of it and share in our winnings of chewed up lucite heels and bedazzled sunglasses.

Let me end with this ... Tila, you can threaten to send us cease and desist letters. You can threaten to sue us. Our First Amendment rights will let us to continue to speak out against you though. Fair Use will let us screencap the trash you post. If you want to try to trample those rights, prepare to have the wrath of every First Amendment advocate upon you. Your only goal is to censor us for reposting the filth you spew, delete, and hope no one saw. We see everything, Tila.
"We do not Forgive. We do not Forget."

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


This is disgusting and completely classless. We don't except anything less from Tila, but dragging professional women into her muck is as tasteless as it gets.

We agree with this comment made on Tila's website of celebrity bashing and childish self-promotion...

We know Tila did not film a sex tape or have any sexual relationship with Candice Swanepoel and Miranda Kerr. To even suggest something is so unprofessional and trashy that we wanted to post this in hopes that anyone with a connection to either of these two models will get that post taken off of Tila's site, just as the post about Khloe Kardashian was. Tila suggesting such a thing, and not being upfront that she is joking, is absolute defamation and libel ... and outright filth.

Monday, May 10, 2010


Happy one week anniversary to Tila's celebrity gossip site of TMZ and Gawker stories and previously read news. The number of hits should be sky high now that the blog has been off the ground for a week and we've gotten all those amazing celebrity interviews that we were promised.

It was a nice run while it lasted. We can't wait to see what Tila's next adventure could be. President of Jamaica? Scoring a huge movie role in a movie that she can't tell anyone about because it is so huge? Assistant to bedazzler extraordinaire and stylist with three dresses in ten colors, Mr. Bradhaw, with his new orthopedic shoe line? There are so many exciting possibilities, it is hard to narrow it down to just one.

Although Tila has been going on and on about her upcoming EP with a song she has claimed is hers but is actually Depeche Mode's, she is blaming her "team" for her forgetfulness about the release of it.

Don't worry, Tila. The same five people that would have bought it if you told the entire world will still buy it without Carlton Jordan or your sister promoting it. We know it is probably hard for you to focus on one thing when you're on an Ambien high, but maybe if you didn't get yourself wrapped in your lies about pregnancies and miscarriages, ambassadorships to Vietnam, or even about something as ridiculous as your alcohol allergy, you might still have a little bit of credibility left. The chance that you can restore even the tiniest bit of what you once had many years ago is really, really small. Shut your mouth, quit typing about people you wish you were, and maybe even get yourself into a nice rehab facility. After that, you might be on the road to being a has-been, rather than a has-been who who people are still laughing at.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

How High

Tila, if you're going to get your "paparazzi" friend Garry to take pictures of you, hide the drugs.

Ambien and Red Bull? What a mix!

Full size original here, in case Tila decides to delete the image like she deleted the posts about Khloé Kardashian and Miley Cyrus.

Thanks to @LikeReally for having such a great eye.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Site Visits

Tila must Google herself and forget to actually read the articles before linking to them in her new blog.

The STARZLIFE write up isn't necessarily negative or positive and simply says that Tila has a new blog. The GREAT mention in USA Today says, "Tila Tequila is back in action, with a blog she launched on Monday." That's it. GREAT! While the DListed article is telling her to throw in the towel after she wrote about how Chris Brown should be forgiven.

Tila also said her site received 230,000 hits the first day. Not only is that not true, but her site looks to have a major decline in views already.

As for TMZ, has an estimated average of over 3 million views per day with an Alexa rank of 347. Tila's blog, on the other hand, has an Alexa rank of 11716488. You won't find any data about Tila's blog on the Alexa website. As their site states, "Historical data not available for sites ranked > 100,000." Sorry, Tila. Also, your plan for dethroning Perez may have backfired. His page views were up by 37% yesterday.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Terri Tequila

Tila has made a lot of noise over her plans to "dethrone" Perez Hilton. The only person she talks about more than Perez in her blog is herself. One of her main complaints about Perez is that he doesn't write for his blog and he has his sister do it for him. She even brings it up in her blog launch video, saying "Did you guys know that piggy Perez doesn't even write ... errr blog on his site anymore? He makes his little sister blog on his site."

What a horrible person Perez is, having his sister write his blog (which is still getting more hits than Tila's).

Wait a second. Tila has her "staff" write for her blog? I wonder who could be part of her staff?

Terringuyenomg? Terri Nguyen? Who could that be? It's none other than Tila's sister.

What's sad is that Terri's blog posts are just as poorly written and grammatically challenged as her sister's.

Tila's poor parents escaped Vietnam to try to have a better life for themselves and their children (Tila was not born in Vietnam, despite her saying she comes from a third world country), only to be blessed with these two blockheads for daughters. We hope, for the sake of her parents, that Tila's brother isn't a selfish, dimwitted asshole as his two sisters.

Blog Launch

Tila's OMG Celebrity Gossip Blog WTF IRL has launched after delay after delay. As expected, it is full of what Tila calls exclusives, with links to sources like ONTD and TMZ. The majority of it is Tila writing about herself. Perhaps would she say lying about herself. She lies about the miscarriage, she lies about being from the ghetto, she lies about her charity, and so much more. The big tease before the launch was Tila talking about something that happened when Paris Hilton was 16. TMZ and Perez Hilton are busy covering things that are happening today, yesterday, or at least within the last week, while Tila is posting an article about something that happened in 1997. Maybe she'll have an exclusive on the death of Princess Diana?

Among the grammatical errors, misspellings, and recycled news, something caught our attention at the bottom of Tila's blog. First we will go back a few months, when Tila threatened to send cease and desist letters to people who wrote negative things (aka re-posted lies she typed herself) about her. Tila's Rot Spot was lucky enough to receive a cease and desist through an e-mail!

Tila also took to her Facebook page to try to make an issue out of the fact that sites like Tila's Rot Spot had a disclaimer. This is what she had to say...

Ok I just had to write this to share with everyone because it's really funny, yet sad at the same time(haters that is). Ok as you all know(MY FANS) that there are a TON of these haters who have made at least 7 websites all dedicated to every minute of my life, making false allegations, calling me a liar, saying I am stealing people's money for my charity, that I am not pregnant, etc, etc, etc. Soooooo here is the funny part, I had my lawyers send out C&D letters to ALL THOSE WEBSITES who are TRYING SO HARD TO CONVINCE PEOPLE THAT I LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING! Well guess what?? Due to the fact that THEY ARE THE ONES LYING, once they received the C&D letters from my very powerful lawyers, they(haters with no life) shit their pants!

So they do all this talk, so hardcore hiding behind their internet screen, making FALSE ALLEGATIONS ABOUT ME, so once they got the C&D, they go so scared because THEY ARE THE ONES LYING, NOT ME! With that said, all those hater websites that they have spent all their days and nights building, instead of doing something productive, they now have a disclaimer on those websites now saying "THIS WEBSITE IS STRICTLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES! NOTHING ON HERE IS AFFILIATED TO TILA TEQUILA, NOR IS IT FACTUAL INFORMATION! THIS WEBSITE IS PURELY A PARODY WEBSITE AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE FACTUAL INFORMATION"

A! CAN WE SAY "PATHETIC?" These losers literally spend their entire days and nights fixated on every move on my life, then they try to convince people that I am lying, and then they straight up make FALSE ALLEGATIONS against me which I CAN AND WILL SUE THEM BIGTIME FOR DOING SO!!!!!!!! SUch idiots!

So after all their hardword on trying to convince people of my so called "LIES" now their website has put up a disclaimer that the site is not facts but just made for fun because in my C&D letter, they will get sued for making those FALSE ALLEGATIONS which is against the law. Defamation of character, copyright infringement, and of course the false allegations and using my trademarked brand to slander.

THEY LOSE!!!!!!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Have you learned your lesson yet you low lives??? Just like me and my Tila Army, we do things in life that are PRODUCTIVE! Maybe you obsessed stalkers should just lay off it. I already won. You got the C&D letters and had to immediately put up the disclaimer to tell everyone that EVERYTHING you stated on ur site about me is not true but made up for fun! BUAHHAHAH! BYE BITCH! I WIN! NOW GET A LIFE! I HEARD THEY ARE SELLIG "A LIFE" AT WALGREENS FOR $50. JUST PUT IT ON MY TAB. I WILL BUY IT FOR YOU! HAHAHHAA!!!! AND YES, EVERYONE GO TO THE "TILASROTSPOT.BLOGSPOT" SITE OR WHATEVER AND YOU WILL SEE THE DISCLAIMER MY LAWYERS MADE THEM PUT UP OR ELSE THEY WILL BE SUED BIGTIME!! GO SEE FOR YOURSELF!



POW! Dont fuck with me bitch!

Mama TT and Her Tila Army!!!!!!!

pps_ haters, you got PWNED!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO!


We know that Rot Spot had the disclaimer long before Tila sent them a cease and desist letter.

Let's take a look at Tila's new blog now...

Well, I'll be... That's a disclaimer, isn't it? A disclaimer proves you are lying, Tila?

Tila's blog is also supposed to be full of exclusives. Have a look at the top of that image. What real blogger with so many inside sources, paparazzi on lock, and the ability to "dethrone" Perez Hilton would need peons like you and me to send in tips or gossip?

There is also a poll where she asks which blog you think she will dethrone. You don't have to visit her site to vote none, you can do it here.

I don't think Perez, Harvey Levin, or even some random guy writing about celebrity happenings in Latvia have to worry about Tila's attempt to try to take over the world of celebrity news. We're sure she'll go on about how many hits she has received when the blog opened. This will probably end the way, Tilas Hot Spot Dating, Tila Zone,,,, and all the other failed websites belonging to Tila. Even The Chevy Chase Show had a few million viewers, but it only took five weeks for that to fail.

Hey! There's an idea. Let's e-mail Tila and have her do an exclusive on Chevy Chase's new late night talk show. News from the '90s is still news, right?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

RIP Baby Lie

Let's finally put this story to rest. We've said from the beginning that things did not add up with Tila's pregnancy. It started with her claiming to be a surrogate for her brother and his wife. The in vitro fertilization process was going to start in December of last year.

In early January, Tila posted a picture of a positive pregnancy test, which was quickly debunked.

Later, in mid-January, Tila claimed that she was "100% confirmed" pregnant and it was no longer a surrogacy for her brother. The baby changed DNA in the womb and it was now Chunks, her baby. It was conceived through in vitro fertilization and was Tila's gift to Casey, after Casey's death. However, Casey had died only two weeks before and we all know that the in vitro fertilization process takes much longer than two weeks. At this point in time, the father of the baby was also a war hero. Tila even claimed to have gotten a sonogram where the heartbeat could be seen, which normally is not something that can be seen until around six weeks.

Then there was the always changing baby's daddies: Tila's brother, a war hero, and a famous Swedish guy who didn't want to be famous.

Next, Tila went to Radar Online with a sonogram picture. It was supposedly taken on January 8th, which took the story in an entirely new direction. The sonogram showed a gestational sac which not only made it impossible for Tila to have just had in vitro fertilization since meeting Casey, but it would have meant that Tila was pregnant before stating that she was starting the IVF process for her brother.

More and more people were taking notice and putting the pieces together at that time, and figuring out there was no way Tila could be pregnant. The stress must of gotten to Tila, because she decided to name a brand new person as the baby's father. This time, she went with the rapper Game. That makes at least four seperate men who had been named as the father. She suggested that the child was conceived through a sexual relationship. The Game story crumbled as quickly as Tila thought it up. She later went on to say that the baby was instead for Avante Rose, a random person who works with The Game.

Around that time, Tila announced how far along she was. This would have put the conception of the baby at a date long before Tila met Casey. She also said that the child was no longer conceived through a sexual relationship and went back to the original idea that it was conceived through in vitro fertilization.

In early February, Tila was getting desperate. She started changing the dates of conception again, posting pictures of her "bump" yet saying that she was too petite for a bump to show, and even threatening to adopt an innocent child from various locations around the world.

This is when we get to the point that Tila realizes she can no longer keep up her lie. We updated the post about Tila's Gosip RSS feed today when an old screencap from TilasBusted showed up. It was talking about the launch date of the blog. Along with it was this tweet from Tila on February 12th...

Now, let's fast forward to present day. Tila says she is no longer pregnant. She claims to have had a miscarriage after denting her head.

Wait a second! The head dent happened after Tila already said she was not pregnant.

For those too confused as this point to catch that. Tila was not pregnant on the 12th, but had a miscarriage on the 13th.

In March, the story changed yet again. On March 5th, Tila is interviewed and around 2:35, before her assistant can shut her up, she says that she is pregnant.

On March 13th, she took to her new Twitter account to tell everyone exactly how she was pregnant again after a head dent caused a miscarriage.

Tila linked to her blog, which has since been deleted. Thankfully, it was screencapped by likereally on Twitter.

As we can all see, Tila said that she did have a miscarriage and she did get pregnant again, through in vitro fertilization. Many people were quick to laugh this off because no real doctor would go through with an in vitro process so quickly (less than a month, in this case) after a miscarriage.

Only three days later, Tila said that she was pregnant WITH TWINS! We made note in that post that if Tila was actually pregnant and was as far along as she originally said, her due date would be at the end of July. The story takes one of the most absurd twists at this point as Tila says her due date is in December. The December due date would mean that Tila had gotten pregnant sometime within the week of posting that and she is able to confirm she is having twins.

At this point in time, the baby's father became a soccer player and had a handful of different ethnic backgrounds, including "English (London)" as Tila called it.

This was after she did a Ustream video on February 11th stating, "My baby is half Vietnamese, half French, half African American, and, uhhh, possibly a little bit Caucasian. I don't know."

At the end of March, when Tila was still trying to claim that she was pregnant (but no longer with twins), she schooled us all with her biology knowledge...

While she said she was pregnant after not being pregnant and then having a miscarriage, she decided she need to eat pizza and rape a man so he could make her a baby. This, of course, was after she had an in vitro fertilization injection in her arm. She was also supposed to visit with her adoption agency, but instead flew with her enablers to New York City to partake in having an allergic relation to alcohol.

If you got lost somewhere within that mess, here is a summary. Tila met Casey in December and became retroactively pregnant as a gift for her "wifey" at the end of October. She started the in vitro fertilization process for her brother in December. Casey died in January and the father became a war hero, a Swedish celebrity, The Game, Avante Rose, and possibly Raz B. Tila was no longer pregnant. Then Tila had a miscarriage. Tila was again pregnant in mid-March (through an invtro fertilization injection in her arm), first with a boy, then twins. She was due in December. Then the baby became a English (London) girl with a soccer player father.

We can only assume that Tila's pregnancy story died when she had a moment of clarity and realized she could no longer fake it. This is TilaWTF we're talking about here, so we can only wait and see what she has in store for the future. The baby could come back any day now, either in the form of a ten year old Chunks or even her apartment's maintenance man.

Nothing shocks us anymore, except that there is still a group of about eight 14 year old kids that believe the entire story she tells and truly believe her blog will be the most groundbreaking thing to hit the internet.

Interesting note: When Tila was on Howard Stern in April, she said that one of her pregnancies was Casey's dying wish. Casey was young, and is supposed to have died suddenly and without warning. How is it that Tila would know the dying wish of a woman who didn't know she was dying?